A manly dilema: To marry or not to marry the Nairobi girl

Posted by Group Kenya on Tuesday, May 16, 2017 at 10:54 am

Nairobi girls are a nuisance. Nairobi girls are a burden. Nairobi girls are complicated. There are only two ways a Nairobi girl shows any interest in you; if you have a fat wallet, or if you look like Idris Elba. And I – the son of a mere hustler and works in mjengo – am […]


Differences between men and women

Posted by Joseph Strong on Thursday, January 5, 2017 at 10:26 am

1. A man will pay Kshs. 1000 for a Kshs. 500 item he wants. A woman will pay Kshs. 500 for a Kshs. 1000 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A […]


Compiled tweets on CS Fred Matiangi

Posted by Group Kenya on Friday, December 30, 2016 at 7:14 pm

1. Matiangi can vie for presidency and win when Raila and Uhuru are still fighting on whether to use manual or electronic devices #KCSE2016 2. CS Fred Matiangi has set a record of being the only CS whose trended twice in a year and not for CORRUPTION! 3. Give MATIANGI the health sector,, he will […]


The DUMBEST Thief Of 2016!!! Kenyan Man Steals A Lady’s Phone, Posts Photos Of Himself On Her Facebook Profile

Posted by Magufuli wa Kenya on Thursday, December 8, 2016 at 4:34 pm

Thieves can be petty. Why steal a phone worth $200 sell it for less than $20 dollars or steal a handbag only to find in business cards with no cash? Be a smart thief, break banks and steal millions. A young Kenyan man is the talk of the town after he allegedly stole a phone […]


Shocking Ordeal KDF Soldier Beats Up Man And Later Rapes His Wife

Posted by Madebe on Monday, November 28, 2016 at 11:56 am

A businessman identified as George Njoroge last week narrated to a court how a Kenya Defence Forces soldier beat him up after he caught him having sex with his wife in his Makadara house. The court heard that Duncan Otieno, based at Kahawa Garrison, attacked the complainant early in the year and caused damage to a television […]


Stop calling your significant other “Bae”

Posted by Group Kenya on Thursday, November 24, 2016 at 5:58 pm

After an extensive search and research below are the right meanings of the term #Bae less informed and confused “Baes” have been misusing this term for quite some time. 1. #Bae is a Danish word for poop, also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etcetera. 2. #Bae – Biggest […]


Banging A Nairobi Lady Tonight? Here Is What She Wants In Bed.

Posted by Madebe on Thursday, November 24, 2016 at 9:08 am

Buru Buru girls are generally a snobbish lot that lives and exists in egotistical gangs of feral females that judge men all day long and won’t hesitate to swing the other way if called upon. This girl is a beast who will stop at nothing to ensure that she has the best time of her […]


Types of users you will find on Facebook. Which are you?

Posted by Group Kenya on Saturday, November 19, 2016 at 6:56 pm

1) The “Lurker” – Never posts anything or comments on your post, but reads everything, and might make reference to your status if they see you in public. 2) The “Hyena” – Doesn’t ever really say anything, just LOLs and LMAOs at everything. 3) “Mr/Ms Popular” – Has 4367 friends for NO reason. 4) The […]


HUMOUR: Trump faces hard time on his first day at the oval office

Posted by Group Kenya on Thursday, November 10, 2016 at 1:10 pm

First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon and FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas […]


HUMOUR: Letter to Luos in the US of A following Donald Trumps electoral victory

Posted by Group Kenya on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 at 8:33 pm

Dear Luos in the Diaspora, You thought you escaped our corruption, our tribalism, our unemployment, our money laundering scandals by bleaching, changing your names, going to Amerka and speaking with your nose donge? Have you packed your bags already? Because Misee Donald Trump pia doesn’t look like anapenda ojinga. We still remember you with your […]


Social media users mock TB Joshua for prophesying that Hillary Clinton will win US election

Posted by Group Kenya on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 at 7:42 pm

Social media users have mocked Nigerian prophet TB Joshua following his inaccurate prophecy regarding the winner of the just ended United States elections. The Synagogue Church of nations (SCOAN) founder predicted early this week that Democrats leader Hillary Clinton would win the US presidential election in a “narrow victory” against her Republican rival Donald Trump. […]


HUMOUR: Ukiuliza Wahindi wakamilishe methali, utajua hata wao hawapendi ujinga

Posted by Group Kenya on Friday, October 21, 2016 at 3:34 pm

1. Nyani haoni:- valise miwani. 2. Debe tupu :- weka dengu. 3. Maskini akipata :- itaacha iba jumbani. 4. Penye kuku wengi :- Chinja bili au tatu. 5. Asiyesikia la mkuu :- Peleka yeye polisi. 6. Penye wengi :- iko kutano ya JUBILEE. 7. Penye fujo :- hapo iko CORD. 8. Bandu bandu? :- Baba […]


Why Luo men are the most sought after by Kenyan women

Posted by Group Kenya on Friday, October 21, 2016 at 3:26 pm

Generous Luo men are not stingy and can freely spend on a lady as long as he loves her. Unlike other tribes, if a Luo man is blessed with a heavy pocket then his girlfriend will be the happiest woman on earth. Swag When it comes to this, Luo men score highly. Whether a Luo […]


Advice to those who want to marry a lady from Luyha community

Posted by Group Kenya on Friday, October 21, 2016 at 10:31 am

Kwa wale Wanaume wanataka kuoa kwa waluhya, get your facts here…. ✅Ukitaka bibi anapenda ukulima, tafuta bukusu. ✅Ukitaka bibi anapenda usafi na pesa tafuta maragoli. ✅Ukitaka bibi atavumilia shida zako zote tafuta isukha. ✅Ukitaka bibi anapenda kelele tafuta kabras. ✅Ukitaka bibi msomi, enda samia. ✅Ukitaka bibi maringo enda Bunyore. ✅Ukitaka bibi domodomo but hard working, […]


Maoni ya mkenya …

Posted by Group Kenya on Tuesday, October 11, 2016 at 1:51 pm

Mimi naona kazi ya polisi ni kuibia to wanachi, they don’t care about our well being as Kenyan citizens, mitungi, naona better mshahara yao ipunguzwe. Mimi naona kanjo askaris watolewe, they just kill and beat women for no reason, we should have a way to solve hawkers’ issues. Mimi naona hii body inajiita NTSA ni […]


VIDEO: How the brain of a fisi works…

Posted by Group Kenya on Wednesday, October 5, 2016 at 7:13 pm


Yet still, there are only two categories of Kenyans. Wale wanakula nyama, halafu na wale wa kumeza mate

Posted by Group Kenya on Wednesday, October 5, 2016 at 6:50 pm

1. Kula nyama 2. Meza mate Nyama inayoliwa ni : 3 Billion NYS looting, 215 Billion Eurobond theft , 15 Billion El Nino Funds, 3 Billion Women and Youth Fund FRAUD, Tribalism in Employment cabinet , diplomat, Parastetals CEOs, 1.5 Billion overpriced SGR Fraud and County hospital equipment lease fraud. Wanaomeza Mate : Cancer patients, […]


Humour: Mimi huwa sipendi ujinga …

Posted by Group Kenya on Wednesday, October 5, 2016 at 1:43 pm

Nimepeleka Maji Kwa Bafu Ndio Minyoo idhani Naenda Kuoga Alafu Nikaenda Kwa Kibanda Polepole Nikakula Nyama Kama Hazijui Mi sipendangi ujinga Sana Sana kwa tuminyoo tunanibeba ni Kama Mimi sikusoma. Eti Mwalimu ananiuliza swali ili kuona kama najua lugha ya Wazazi wangu, “hivi Mbu mnawaitaje kule kwenu?,” Nikamjibu : huwa hatuwaiti ila wanakuja wenyewe. Sipendi […]


Humour: When lunatics board an aircraft …

Posted by Group Kenya on Tuesday, October 4, 2016 at 4:32 pm

A pilot was transporting a bunch of lunatics from Nairobi to a psychiatric facility in Johannesburg, South Africa. The madmen were making noise and suddenly, one of them entered the Pilots Cabin; LUNATIC: Teach me how to fly a plane! PILOT: I would, but under one condition. LUNATIC: What? PILOT: If you can get your […]


The Deputy President, William Ruto should prepare a motivational presentation for the Kenyan youth on how to get wealthy

Posted by Group Kenya on Thursday, September 29, 2016 at 1:58 pm

Our DP William Ruto should organize for a motivational, sleeve-folding, power-point presentation on how his highway chicken business made him his first million. This would be epic, captivating even his boss Uhuru Kenyatta. It is not enough for a billionaire to say he was a hustler without showing the world a step-by-step procedure, how the […]


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