HUMOUR: Letter to Luos in the US of A following Donald Trumps electoral victory

Posted by Group Kenya on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 at 8:33 pm

DONAL TRUMP COLLAGE

Dear Luos in the Diaspora,

You thought you escaped our corruption, our tribalism, our unemployment, our money laundering scandals by bleaching, changing your names, going to Amerka and speaking with your nose donge?

Have you packed your bags already?

Because Misee Donald Trump pia doesn’t look like anapenda ojinga. We still remember you with your original names yaye. People like Selina Odana(Celine Dion) must come back home. Aswito kuja fanya collabo na Emma Jalamo mufanye remix ya ‘Siaya Kababa’.

Alice Akinyi (Alicia Keys) bebina karibu nyumbani nyathiwa, karibu nyumbani ufanye collabo na Atommy Sifa, biraon boy who nikod swag from Kajulu to Mesopotamia, aah kwach Ja Adiedo.

Mosenindo Bruce Olayo (Bruce Lee) must be exhumed and buried at Kasagam where his forefathers are buried, no mercy! Mosenindo Mikael Ojako (Michael Jackson) wuod Karachuonyo must be exhumed and buried in Kendu Bay where he was born.

Awacho ni sipare no one!

Mosenindo Awiti nyar Yusto (Whitney Huston) must be exhumed and buried at Awasi, the land where she went to cook, iiih chokeee!

Jaduong Barack wuod Obama bwana ya Misel, Baba ya Sasa na Mala, rudi nyumbani owadwa, former president yaye it is well baa.

Billy Ogato (Bill Gates) the richest luo in the world and surrounding planets karibu home baa. Anicki min Jii (Nicky Minaj) yoo? Wachana na hiyo kijana inaitwa sijui Meek Mill kia ang’o. Rudi nyumbani dada. Kwansa vile uko na background infomeson yenye imejaa yurobond unakaa tu Nyar Kisumo yaye. Ani kuja nyumbani we afanye collaboration na Onyi Papa Jey kusa siyo kasi nigga Koleko Intanasonol, kuleya ndio kasi, mukimsirikisa John Junior Mohammed Ahmed abdilrahman.

Lupita Baby…aah Alupi Jaber karibu nyumbani we aact kwa Hollywood movie ya Kibrit Olwar Epii 2 ama Pengle 8. Karibu mum.

Welcome home. Those who still dont have their lions (kama hujui ‘lions’ ni nini uliza Jaluo), I am giving three free chances to three lucky luos to come and chase sleep in mine.

If your name is Nicki Minaj, or Alice Akinyi or Lupita Nyong’o, your spot is already booked for you.

If you are a fellow man go and eat your tomatoes elsewhere imbisil. Nani alikuambia usitengenese layon ama usipige home?

Yours Owalo Dancer at Kisumu Intanasonol Airport. Jaduong’ Insaid.

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