Humour: Mimi huwa sipendi ujinga …

Posted by Group Kenya on Wednesday, October 5, 2016 at 1:43 pm

kenyan-jokes

Nimepeleka Maji Kwa Bafu Ndio Minyoo idhani Naenda Kuoga Alafu Nikaenda Kwa Kibanda Polepole Nikakula Nyama Kama Hazijui Mi sipendangi ujinga Sana Sana kwa tuminyoo tunanibeba ni Kama Mimi sikusoma.

Eti Mwalimu ananiuliza swali ili kuona kama najua lugha ya Wazazi wangu,
“hivi Mbu mnawaitaje kule kwenu?,”
Nikamjibu : huwa hatuwaiti ila wanakuja wenyewe.
Sipendi ujinga Mimi

Did you know if you bath at least twice daily,avoid alcohol avoid smoking tobacco and bhang go to gym everyday for fitness,have sufficient sleep eat fruits after each meal avoid stress stop using all sorts of drugs including caffeine found in tea and coffee and practise safe sex regularly you will still die in future?

Ishi vile unataka na uwache ujinga.

KENYATTA came from prison and became the president
MANDELA came from prison and became the president
MUGABE came from prison and became the president.
NYERERE came from prison and became the president . . Brothers and sisters, Continue working hard in school . Imprisonment is the key to success…
….sipendangi ujinga nimejipeleka kamiti saa hi

Kutoka kitambo cjawahi penda uji ndio maana #huwa sipendi ujinga

Nimetoka kwa stage ya Kenya mpya wakaniambia kuna seat moja imebaki,Mi kuangalia vizuri nikaona hakuna nafasi but kuangalia mbele nkachecky seat ya dere haina mtu!!..Sai tuko almost ruiru dere amebaki..Mi sipendi ujinga

Ushai katia dem adi akakusho uende kwao hakuna mtu alafu kufika unapata hadi yy hayuko…
Kumbe hapendi ujinga

Teacher : Mtu amesoma na ako na mali anaitwa nani??
Me : Msomali
Sipendangi ujinga mimi, sahi niko staffroom namwongojea afike

Nimekuwa interview place fulani nikaulizwa what I do for a living…
nikawashow ‘i breathe in and out’
Spendi ujinga mimi
nko nje sasa nategea results

Flirting with a deeper life girl be like.
Him: Bae wats up
Her:pls my name is Grace not Bae
Him:OK Grace how are you.
Her:the lord is my strength
Him:ok wat are you doing now.
Her:am cooking
Him:aww, should I come and help you?
Her: I can do all things through him that strengthens me.
Him:hhhmm,ok ooo.at least I will come after you might have finished cooking the food so u will serve me.
Her:pls I only serve the living God.
Him: ok sister Grace ,what are you wearing now.
Her:am wearing the full Armor of Christ.
Hapo ndio unajuaga kweli Neno la bwana Ni Thitimaa.

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